worst way to die
by tayrulez
Summary: Damn! Thought this week couldn't get any worse. Jane is having the worst week of his life and it sure doesn't get better when Carly's missing and Lisbon breaks his teacup.


**Author's Note: My friend likes fan fictions but he just won't start one. Oh, well. He tells me stuff that he wants me to write about and this is one. This is kinda angsty and I'm not used to it. Also, the first chapter will be very confusing, but it'll be explained in later chapters. Here goes, please review!**

**Disclaimer: Try though I might, The mentalist does NOT belong to ME.**

Earlier, the team had been chatting in the pen, with Jane brooding on his couch. When confronted, he asks them in general what they think the worst way to die is. After a stunned silence, he pipes up again.

"I'd say the worst way to die is having a fight with someone you love then having said person to run you over with a car."

Another stunned silence and he gets up to leave. He disappears for the rest of the day. Jane shows up the next morning, still looking a bit grumpy but not as bad as the day before. He fixes his tea, just the way he likes it and carries it out. Just before he leaves the kitchenette, Hightower is walking down the hall with her coffee, accidentally bumps into Cho – who is chasing after Summer – and the hot drink drizzles all over Lisbon's shirt. Lisbon bursts into the kitchenette, crashing into Jane. Not only does the tea stain his shirt, the cup also falls off its perch and shatters on the floor.

Grace and Rigsby were, at that moment, rummaging through the fridge. They stop, with arms full of condiments, and stare. Cho is already gone, running after Summer, but Hightower pops her head in. Lisbon stares at the floor, unable to move, unable to meet Jane's eyes. Jane, on the other hand, is no longer looking at the pieces but glaring at the woman who just recently murdered his cup.

Grace and Rigsby silently set the food down then somehow manage to slink away. Hightower stays in the doorway and Lisbon remains frozen. Jane opens his mouth but can't seem to find any words. He flips his saucer in his hand a few times then smashes it, allowing it to crackle in his clenched fist. This cuts his hand up pretty bad but he doesn't wince. There are too many things running through his mind at the moment. Instead, he finally tears his attention away from her and storms out, shoving Lisbon and Hightower away in the process.

With the blond man gone, Lisbon finally lets out some profanity, a few apologies and a loud sigh. Hightower finally walks in and offers Lisbon a hug, thinking of nothing else to do. She accepts the hug for a short time then backs away. She carefully avoids the fragments and races to her office.

Upstairs, Jane has bolted and chained his attic door shut. He has it barricaded with as many things he could move until he ran out of breath from exhaustion, anger and fear. He rummages through a suitcase under his makeshift bed and pulls out a faded spiral notebook. He flips to a blank page near the back and begins his narrative.

Damn! Thought this week couldn't get any worse. I got call back on Sunday that Carly's missing. She wouldn't just up and leave. That's crazy. I went to the prison to talk to Madge about it but she doesn't know anything. I need to pay her bail. It's not that high, but I just… I just can't deal with that. I'm sure she still blames me for what happened with Sammy. And Sammy, her anniversary is coming up.

_Normally, I stay around Carly during this time but it's just getting closer and closer. I try not to let it show and now the team must think I'm an ass. I am. Tere-. No, Lisbon just broke my cup in the kitchen. It wasn't her fault but it made me upset. And just that little edge of upset really sent me packing. Writing in this thing is better than shooting at mannequins up here or attempting to take my own life. Right?_

_I remind you I did almost take my own life back when I was a teen. After Sammy and Madison. After Nurse Minnie and Madge. When it was Alex and that bitch. I didn't stare at anyone but Lisbon just then. Carly's missing. Ricky's out to get me. Quinn and Zarina… I don't know what to do with them._

_Zari doesn't really know me. Quinn and I have fallen out of touch. They wouldn't notice if I was gone. This ring on my left hand. What does it even mean anymore? A promise? Revenge? Maybe my heart's just not into it. There are more pressing matters in my life than Red John, whoever the hell he is. Now the team. After what just happened, how I hurt my so-called boss, they wouldn't care to ever see me again. That's it. I'm through. I'm ending all this and they're gonna help._


End file.
